Rain, Forrest Gump, and 2016

Tuesday, June 07, 2016

It's weird really, but as we were driving last night I began to feel like it could have been Summer. It wasn't the fact I was braless and wearing someone else's singlet, the fact the sky was so clear we could actually see the stars, the old school rock and roll radio station blasting David Bowie, or the fact the air smelt sweet. It was the atmosphere of the night. The potential, like something huge was about to happen. The night was pregnant, heavily, on the verge of something. Even the air felt warmer. Which is weird because just as I predicted months ago, Winter has hit truly hit Wellington. Hard. It was almost like the world had stopped.

Even today, the sun is out. The world outside my bedroom window is quiet, except for the birds chirping. It's our first beautiful day in months. So of course, I'm sitting here thinking, where did the rain go?

Remember that scene from Forrest Gump when Forrest ends up fighting in Vietnam and one day it starts raining and it doesn't stop for four months? I never really fully understood where Forrest was coming from until I moved to Wellington. Because when it rains here, it really rains. Like, we're talking grey skies, dark storm clouds, thunder and lightning. We have the most beautiful summers, then overnight suddenly monsoon weather hits. The sun will shine every day and the air smells sweet, then all of a sudden it starting raining and it doesn't stop for ten months. Welcome to winter in Wellington, where the wind is so strong you can't walk in a straight line down the street, and visitors and newcomers are identified by complex updos (good luck) and floaty dresses (you really thought you could wear that?) that they attempt to control as they struggle across the pavement like drunkards on a Saturday night.

I don't actually mind winter. In fact, I love the rain. Sitting inside when it's stormy outside, especially in my tiny shoebox of a room, is like sitting in my own little cocoon. There is something calming about sitting inside, warm and cosy, while the storm outside raging, seemingly tearing the very roots of the city apart. I certainly find it easier to concentrate when the rain softly beating against my window. When the sun is shining, I feel like I'm missing out on something. So yeah, I love the rain, and I can hardly blame my lack of motivation to write on this blog on the damp weather we've been having lately.

Hey team.
Yeah, that's right, I'm not dead (yet).

If you're a regular reader, sorry boo, I got busy (and lazy). If you're new here, namaste.
So far 2016 has been a pretty weird year.

So what have I been up too? Uni mostly. I'm in my last year and although I was fully prepared to be permanently curled up in the fetal position as the weight of a thousand assignments came down upon me like a tonne of heavy burning bricks, I'm not nearly as stressed as I thought I would be. To be honest I'm perfectly happy. I haven't felt so sure of myself, in my own body and my own mind, in quite a long time. I wear whatever I want, I eat when I want. I sleep in my own bed and stretch across the mattress with the reckless abandon only an individual sleeping alone can enjoy. I'm completely content. I'm currently on a six-week break having finished my semester with little to no drama, and now that I've finally gotten through half of year, well, it's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. In previous semester breaks, I've told myself that I'll start running again, that I'll throw out a bunch of shit I don't need, or I'll eat better or delete Facebook or re-decorate my room or something. This semester break however, I've decided just to chill out. Eat good food, work a few extra shifts, and sleep in. It good really, not feeling the pressure to do anything. While some would argue my new state of mind is lazy and pointless, I'm actually quite enjoying myself so far. So suck it.

I have a fringe now, although I clip it back a lot of the time. At some point between the last few days of Summer and the first flood of Winter, my flatmate and I got bored and decided to cut my hair. It's been a permanent fixture on my head ever since.

I haven't really written on this blog for a while which you probably noticed. Firstly, and I won't go into it too much, but le shit really hit le fan and to be honest, le shit really put me off. After some thinking, I decided nothing was going to come in between my blog and I. Secondly, I've had severe writer's block for months. It happens, and anyone who writes for a living will tell you it really is the pits. Thirdly, I've been busy and unfortunately, uni has to come first. Now that I've somehow survived the first half of my final year, I'm feeling confident that I'll finish my degree and go on to better things. To be honest, the thought that I'd drop out of uni and achieve nothing with my life has been keeping me up at night, playing on my anxiety, for years. With the deportation of that thought from my mind, I feel infinitely more confident about life. Voila, the writer's block finally vanished (thank fuck) and I can get on with everything.

What else is happening in my life? Nothing much of interest, and you know what? I'm totally cool with that.

So hey team, I'm back. Cosy in, grab your popcorn and settle down, because I'm back.
And I feel fucking good.

Until next time babes, stay zen xx

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