The Dating Crisis

Monday, December 28, 2015

This is for all my single lads and ladies out there.

Last night, I embarked on a date *que Jaws music*

All round it was pretty average. We drank beer, ate bento, and played pool. He was very good looking, although a little pretentious. I found him difficult to read, although I got the feeling he was bored a lot of the time. I tried and failed to make conversation, while he sat opposite me giving me short, closed answers and checking his phone periodically. I eventually gave up and began staring at the way the early evening sunlight was falling on the building across the street, and wishing I had bought my camera with me. I won't say too much just in case he ever reads this because he did genuinely seem like a really nice guy, but I guess the chemistry just wasn't there. To be honest I think my Mum is more heartbroken about the whole scenario, while I remain indifferent to the whole matter. It's happened, I'll finally admit it; I'm a romantic trapped in the body of a cynic.

Dating and I have a bit of a love-hate relationship. It's that same old line from the same old script; I like to be alone, but never lonely. On one hand, I love to meet new people. I love getting dressed up and going out, I adore going out for dinner and drinking (as many of you know well). I love warm cuddles at 3am under the glow of my fairy lights, listening to the drizzle hit my window. However on the other hand, dating frustrates me to no end. To be honest, I'm over dating and relationships, which I guess is a bit sad considering I only just turned 21 a few months ago.

You see, much of the promise I feel when I meet someone new who wants to take me out, often fades at the very moment the stunted, boring conversations finally halt to an awkward silence, and when the wine runs out, and I realise yet again that I'm unlikely to see this person again, that same feeling of lonely and deluded hopelessness returns. After breaking up with my partner of a year (and for good reason, believe me), a series of terrible dates and a few hopeful individuals who stuck around just long enough to see how cold and heartless I have become, I've decided maybe being single isn't all that bad. For now, I'm content with waking up alone to cold coffee from the night before; I'm quite content making my own scrambled eggs and reading the newspaper alone at the dining room table. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, whatever. I'll open a film camera repair shop and fade into obscurity, probably in some tiny town in the wop wops. Maybe I'll even adopt a dog or cat from the local pound. You never know what's going to happen.

Just this morning I was reading about the 170,000 asylum seekers who have been settled in Sweden, who despite being settled in a ski lodge above the arctic circle and having not seen the sun in a month and a half, are simply happy that "at least there are no bombs". My point is, many of us privileged white folk lucky enough to be born into a western culture, often don't realise how good we've got it. Sure, we complain about our outdated smartphones and how we're over the dating game, how twisties just don't taste quite the same anymore, or the terrible weather we've been having ("It's global warming, didn't you see the doco on 60 minutes? I never miss it, Mike McRoberts is such a fox"), but the reality is we've got it pretty darn good; no war, relatively low rates of poverty and access to clear water, an abundance of fresh produce at our disposal and cheap movie tickets for the perfect mid-week catchup with mates. I often feel guilty for complaining about shitty dates and slow internet because let's be honest here, our lives are pretty ideal.

So that's all I'm going to say about that. Being single isn't all that bad. You can hardly disagree with the fact that dating and dealing with complicated relationships isn't nearly as traumatic as experiencing war or poverty or abuse or any of the other atrocities that have been committed on this planet. Appreciate what you have while you have it because after all, it could all be gone tomorrow.

Until next time babes xx

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