Chin Up

Saturday, December 05, 2015

It saddens me to tell you that just this morning, I was dumped.

Actually I wasn't really dumped, we were never official and the decision to end it was mutual. Kind of. But for lack of a better term, this morning I was dumped.

It's not a nice feeling to say the least. I've experienced it one too many times. It starts off with casual conversation, everything seems normal. Then all of a sudden they're saying shit like "it's not you, it's me" and/or "I don't have time for a relationship right now" etc etc and it dawns on you that yes, this is happening and yes, you are now single, and yes, you now have to grow unattached to that person.

The worst thing about being dumped for me is the photos.
I am a photographer, and as most photographers do, I will take hundreds of photos of something or someone that I like. When I broke up with my last boyfriend, we'd been seeing each other for a year. Reminders of him were everywhere. All over my wall, my cork board, my Instagram, my Facebook and Tumblr. And of course I couldn't delete them or burn them. These photos were my art. So I shoved every negative and polaroid into a box and locked it away in my drawer. The latest one, the boy that dumped me this morning, hadn't been around for that long. There isn't really any evidence of him anywhere (thank god), and I'm sure I'll get over him soon enough.

It still hurts though. No one can really fathom the mystery of the human heart, and why it can ache and pine for a person the next day, and proceed to spit on that person the next.

So without further ado, here is my all time list of do's and don't for dealing with breakups. This list is for the people being dumped, so all you cold, emotionless, heartless whores need not read ahead (kidding).

1. Unfollow them on social media, do not de-friend them.

In this day and age, un-friending or blocking someone on Facebook is the ultimate "fuck you" so of course it can be tempting when you get dumped to do so. Don't do it. I made this mistake with my ex, and now I can never stalk him to see what he's doing or what heinous troll he's dating. Of course I can't re-add him because I'm way too proud and he'll be way too smug and I just can't deal with that. There will come a time when you're not absolutely furious with them. Unfollow them on Facebook so you don't have to see their shit for a while. Infact, I would recommend just avoiding social media all together for a good couple of weeks at least. It'll only make you feel worse.

2. Do not call/text/message them.

I repeat. Do not attempt to make contact. DO NOT ATTEMPT. ABORT. ABORT.

3. Listen to music.

Music is one of the most powerful forces in the world. Two people from completely seperate countries, with completely different backgrounds, upbringings or cultures, can stand on opposite sides of the planet, listen to the same song and feel the same emotion. If that's not some kind of universal force, then I don't know what is. Compile a list of ultimate feel good tracks and play that shit on repeat. You'll be feeling better in no time.

4. Eat healthy and exercise.

Gorge yourself on chocolate and ice cream and Mexican food for a little while if that's what makes you feel better (see #5). However in the long run, eating food that strengthens your soul and doing regular exercise is going to make you feel so much better.

5. Treat yo self.

Treat yo self. Buy a new pair of jeans, get your hair did, drink a bottle of wine, dance naked in the moonlight. All in moderation of course (see #4).

6. Look at yourself in a positive light.

Don't go thinking of yourself as an ugly reject whose gonna die alone. You is kind, you is smart, you is important. You'll find someone, one day, who will love you completely and unconditionally, for better or for worse. You have your whole life ahead of you. Go out and conquer.

7. Call your Mum.

She's all you'll ever need.

Until next time babes, chin up xx

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